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Why I’d Choose a Lego Carpet Over My High School Reunion

High school reunions are often pitched as a nostalgic trip down memory lane, a chance to reconnect with old friends and relive the glory days. But let’s be honest— for many of us, the thought of attending one is about as appealing as stepping on a Lego brick in the middle of the night. In fact, I’d rather walk barefoot across an entire carpet made of those sharp, plastic torture devices than subject myself to the awkwardness, forced small talk, and inevitable comparisons that come with a high school reunion.

Let’s start with the elephant in the room: the pressure to perform. Reunions are less about catching up and more about showcasing how “successful” you’ve become. Who’s got the flashiest job? The picture-perfect family? The most Instagram-worthy life? It’s like a live-action version of social media, where everyone’s curating their best self, and you’re stuck wondering if your life measures up. I’d take the physical pain of a Lego-strewn floor over the emotional minefield of feeling judged for my career choices or lack of a holiday home in the Cotswolds.

Then there’s the small talk. Oh, the small talk. “So, what have you been up to for the last decade?” Where do you even begin? Do you mention the mundane bits, like your daily commute or that time you binge-watched an entire series in one weekend? Or do you try to spin your life into something glamorous, even if it’s just a slightly exaggerated version of reality? Either way, it’s exhausting. And don’t get me started on the inevitable moment when you blank on someone’s name but have to pretend you remember them vividly. I’d rather feel the sting of a Lego underfoot than navigate that conversational tightrope.

Let’s not forget the ghosts of high school past. Reunions have a way of dragging up old dramas— who dated whom, who fell out with whom, who was the class clown or the teacher’s pet. For some, it might be a laugh to reminisce, but for others, it’s a reminder of insecurities or cliques we’d rather leave buried. Why reopen those wounds when I could be at home, sipping tea and avoiding sharp objects— both literal and emotional?

Sure, there’s a chance you might reconnect with someone genuinely worth knowing. But the odds of that outweighing the awkward encounters, forced smiles, and overpriced venue are slim. I’d rather take my chances with a Lego carpet. At least the pain is temporary, and I’d have a story to tell— without the baggage of revisiting my teenage years.

In the end, high school was a chapter, not the whole book. I’d rather keep moving forward than look back through rose-tinted glasses at a time that wasn’t even that great to begin with. So, pass me the Legos. I’ll take my chances with the sharp edges over the sharper sting of a high school reunion any day.